What if everyone’s parents start getting tumblr like they did with Facebook


(via phan-equals-phriendship)


dude i’m gonna frickin hold your hand so hard it’s gonna blow your mind with how hecka rad my affection is

(via orgasm)


kid walks into a store, walks up to the counter and whispers one pack of non-menthol metaphors please… 

(via faded-facade)


"You put the thing that’s killing yo-"

"Its a metaphor-"

(via faded-facade)

  • Jesus: *on the cross*
  • Jesus: it's a metaphor
  • cleopatra: *puts snake to breast* its a metaphor
  • cleopatra: see, you put the killing thing to your breast, but dont give it the power to--oh shit wait no
So i was at the mall today

…and i was in Shoe Carnival looking for some new shoes… I hear this little boy scream down the aisle from me about how the shoes he was wearing were hurting his feet, I look down the aisle hes standing there with his young mother and he swears at her and starts throwing a fit, she tries to calm him down but it only made him cry more…so, she forces him to sit down takes his tennis shoes off of him and pulls a pair of crocs out of her bag and makes him put them on..He cried the rest of the time i was in the store. 

Crocs as punishment…?

I probably would have cried too.